the death of a child

a bitter, hard thing

cremating vs burying your dead child

morbid that I have thought of this extensively, but I have

and I have thought that I could not bear to think of my dead child alone out there in his grave on nights that are storming and winter, and cold, and dark

I blame Frost

although maybe I should not

Published by

Nic Sebastian

Nic is the author of Forever Will End On Thursday and Dark And Like A Web. She founded the now-archived Whale Sound site and is co-founder of The Poetry Storehouse. Nic blogs at Very Like A Whale and Voice Alpha.

10 thoughts on “the death of a child”

  1. I hadn’t read that one. Thank you.

    We cremated our son, because like you the idea of him out there alone was too horrible to contemplate. And what if we moved, which as it turned out, we did, half way across the country. To know he was there, and we were here would be worse. If there can be a worse.

  2. Wow, what a decision to have to make.

    The closest I’ve ever come is losing two cats. We buried them in the garden so they could be with flowers. For a long time after each one, though, I had a bad feeling every time it rained.

  3. …if there can be a worse…

    my heart holds still.

    in my family, we can’t quit practicing for future grief. the idea being- if we practice for it, then it won’t hurt as much when it happens. of course, that doesn’t turn out to be the case. nonetheless, my adult offspring and i have picked out the place where our ashes will be scattered. now, having read the article you shared . . . i have more to consider.

  4. Sad that I have also been thinking about this, but in reference to my spouse (no I’m not planning to off him!). We have discussed what would be done since we do not have children etc and I wrote a poem about it that was just accepted for publication. Ah the world of poets..

  5. We chose cremation for our son and placed a memorial bench on the headlands in our local Botanical Gardens. It is in a place where he loved to walk and is very comforting for us to visit. Sometimes we have to wait in line to sit on it because the view is so beautiful. We can walk to the end of our street, take a hort path through the shore pines to the headlands and see the bench from closer to home.


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